Doing what you love.

I've found out that even tho this B'line bullshit smacks you upside the head with sum serious 'down and out' periods, it's important to hang on to the things you love. Even tho your head is filled with dark thoughts and clouds seem to be covering your eyes and your soul. It's still good for yaself to keep doing at least óne thing you love to do. One thing that makes you feel good, pretty, healthy, sexy, valid, whateva.I have neglected to do the things I really love in my times of darkness and it has only made my dark days darker.

Yesterday my cousin came and picked me up to hit the gym. I haven't been there for a while but it really did me good. Early in the morning is best for me since it's empty and I don't have the feeling that everybody who looks at me can see that I have BPD. Cuz sumtimes it does feel like that, that all eyes can see.
But my cousin had my back as always and after one hour we were so much in the zone we totally forgot about time. You need things and peeps like that. The ones who can pick you up and get you out of your house. The ones who can convince you to keep doing those things that make you feel good. Who support you and tell you you still good at it even if you suck ;-) It made me feel so good I am actually thinking of picking up dancing again. At least it got me writing again. Not just in my secret diary but for the rest of the world to see as well.

I do realise this struggle with BPD isn't over yet and I might never recover from it. But the help and love of my fam and friends is making me stronger and gets me through those 'mental tsunamies' over and over again. As long as you feel and know peeps got your back you can do anything in life, ANYTHING!!

I'll make it, it might take sum time but I can make it out of this.